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The
law has stipulated the minimum age for marriage. I wish it had
also stipulated the maximum age considering the attitude of
people today. We are not in the least justified in blaming the
law if girls aged 25 or 30 remain unmarried. The reason is our
own indifference. Take the upanayana samskara. After all, it does
not come under the Sarda Act. . Why then do we perform our son's
upanayana together with his marriage when he is 30 years or so?
It is all due to our indifference to our sastras, our dharma.
Apart
from this general apathy, most parents want to celebrate the
upanayana and marriage on a lavish scale, indeed like
festivities. Both get postponed since the money has to be raised.
That even a lifetime's earnings are not sufficient to meet the
expenses of a daughter's marriage is preposterous. The result is
the samskaras are not performed at the proper time as required by
the sastras.
According
to our scriptures money has nothing to do with these samskaras.
That today it has come to be so is a tragedy- and it is a tragedy
that is of our own making. In none of the eight forms of
marriage does the groom have to be given any money. Even in the
asura type it is the groom that pays money, that is in exchange
for the bride. If such a transaction is considered demoniac, what
would the rsis who authored our sastras have thought of the
prevailing custom of dowry, of the groom's parents telling the
bride's people: "Give us your daughter in marriage and also
cash." They could not have even imagined that such a custom
would ever crop up. There obtained the custom of "Kanya-sulka" - money offered to the bride or "bride
price" - which has some support in the canons. But you
cannot find an iota of justification in our scriptures for the
present dowry system.
Putting
an end to this custom- this evil- is the marriage reform that is
the true need of the country. Instead of carrying out such a
reform, what we have done is to stipulate- in the name of reform-
the minimum age of marriage for girls. And this has played havoc
with our family and social life. I am referring to the present
phenomenon of girls going to work. When it became difficult to
find the money for the dowry, for the gifts to be made to the
groom's people and for the lavish celebration of the wedding, the
Sarda act came in handy by
obviating the need to be in a hurry to hold the function.
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"Hindu Dharma" is a book
which contains English translation of certain invaluable and
engrossing speeches of Sri Sri Sri Chandrasekharendra Saraswathi MahaSwamiji (at
various times during the years 1907 to 1994).
For a general background, please see here
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