It
is to be regretted that, while the rules and injunctions of the
dharmasastras are conveniently disregarded, certain popular
customs prevalent in this part or that part of the country are
being followed as if they had sastric validity. For instance, the
belief has gained ground that the upanayana of a son must not be
performed if he has an elder sister yet to be married. Another
belief is that three brahmacarins must not stay together in a
family at the same time. The upanayana of boys is delayed on this
pretext. It is not right to go against the dharmasastras in
preference to such popular customs and disregard the upper age
limit fixed by them for the upanayana samskara. The customs
mentioned above must have originated as a matter of convenience
or for some sentimental reason. Popular practices may be followed
so long as they are not contrary to the dictates of the
dharmasastras.
Let
us quote here again what Apastamba says concluding his
dharmasastra: "What I have dealt
with so far does not exhaust all the rules. There are still many
more. These must have evolved according to the custom of the
family or the region concerned and may be known from women and
members of the fourth varna..." We must, however,
remember that Apastamba does not want us to go against the
dharmasastras.
The
upanayana samskara must not be postponed on any pretext
whatsoever. Sometimes the marriage of a girl is delayed because
the parents do not have enough money to meet all the wedding
expenses. This is also not justified and is against the sastras.
I will speak about it later when I deal with the vivaha(marriage)
samskara. There is a lot of "show" in our weddings and
this has come to be accepted as inevitable. Even if we, for our
part, do not like any lavish display at weddings we yield to the
wishes of the groom's people. The marriage of a girl is delayed
until her parents manage to raise the money to celebrate it in a
big way. It is also held up because a suitable groom does not
turn up. Then there is the problem of the groom's people giving
approval to the alliance.
There
are no such reasons for the "thread ceremony" to be
delayed nor is there is any compulsion to make it expensive. It
is not like a marriage in which we have to take into
consideration the views and wishes of the groom's people. So
there can be no valid excuse for failure to perform the upanayana
of a son at the right time. The delay is unforgivable on any
count.
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"Hindu Dharma" is a book
which contains English translation of certain invaluable and
engrossing speeches of Sri Sri Sri Chandrasekharendra Saraswathi MahaSwamiji (at
various times during the years 1907 to 1994).
For a general background, please see here
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